Writing Vs. Prayer

BISMILLAHIRRAHMAANIRRAHEEM !

Ya Salamo!
Ya Malik ul Quddus!
Ya Wali o Ya Naseer!
Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyum!

:) :) :)

Today is the very first day of my summer vacations! Alhamdulillah!
However, I feel like I'm not off to a very good start because I skipped all my prayers today :S
I'm sorry Allah Taa'la :(

Its just...You know, I feel so much closer to You when I write
and as ironic as it sounds, I actually feel more distracted when I pray!

I don't know why I don't feel like I can express myself to You properly when I pray to you verbally...
I forget what I want to say
then when I doo say something, its so hard to find the words to say it right
and I can never keep track of the things I have said so ..I always find myself wondering if I left anything out .. haha! :) :P

Seriously, I just feel so much more comfortable writing to You
Infact, the more I write, the better I get at talking !!!

I think its cause, since I am more of a Visual Learner, its more easy for me to say words that I have SEEN with my eyes
so, when I'm talking, I can actually visualize each word in my head before I say it !
:D
yeah!
Its literally like having a strip of words flowing in my head
and I'm a news reporter reading off the script hahahaha :D

Allah Taa'laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You understand naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
but then again, I know that prayer is obligatory...and I am not exempt from it
I know that prayer is extremely beneficial for me
I know that prayer is strengthening and relaxing.
and I know that I have no valid excuse not to pray

still, I Pray to You to forgive me if I can't keep up with the five prayers
i ask You to still help me be among the women of paradise..
Please Ya Allah

I mean...I just want to be a better person
loving, merciful, humble, good-mannered, soft-hearted, well-spoken, helpful....
I want to walk in the footsteps of the Beloved Prophet Muhammad SalalahuAlayhaywasalam, I REALLY DO!!!!!!

Help me naaaa !
I want prayer to assist me in becoming a person with all these qualities.
I don't want it to be the other way around...

So help me Ya Allah,
Help me, please!
Ya Walio Ya Naseer!
:) ThankYou
and Help me, Please!
:):):)