"Nothing Lasts"

Salam
I haven't been here in a while.
I've been thinking about something a lot lately. Especially since that 'thing' always manages to reinforce itself in my mind one way or the other. This 'thing' is basically the ultimate reality of life-Death. The whole month of December had the word 'Death' engraved into each and every one of it's 31 days. Also, just a while ago, I watched the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" which clearly gave a message to it's viewers in the same context, using the phrase 'Nothing Lasts'.

So now, at precisely 3:31 am in the morning, I can't help but ponder over this ridiculously real phenomenon. I can't stop myself from thinking if I'm ready for it myself. At present, I am frightened simply because I believe I don't know how to prepare myself for the transportation of my soul into a mysterious world. I wonder if, my death may come to me a few seconds from now, or even as I type these letters onto my blog. Hah! wouldn't that be ironic!

Do you know what comes to my mind most when I think about death? The fate of my personal diaries! Who will have the curiosity to read them? Who shall I leave them to? Will any of the rubbish I've filled into them over the years benefit anyone at all? Aah, this concept of death is becoming slightly intriguing now.

The greatest bother for me at the moment is the importance of religious practices with respect to Death. I just wish there was a scale in our lives which determined how close or far we are from entering either hell or paradise! That way, at least I could follow a certain path in order to keep that scale balanced. I could lead a more focused life.

I could go on and on about my wishes and whims. So I'll end this nonsense and just say a heartfelt prayer:
"Oh Allah! I Love You! I Love You! I thank You for each second of my life! Please bless everyone in this world."
Ameen.
=) <3

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~Mark Twain

What would you taste like to a Cannibal?

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Assalam o Alaikum

Salam
I wonder why I'm at this point in my life where I'm supposed to give all that I have and yet I'm not even putting in 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 % of the abilities that I have.
I wonder if this is fate. Then I wonder if this is a choice I made that can easily be reversed. Finally, I wonder if fate is what led me to make this choice.
Yet, I continue to wonder if anything that I have wondered about has ever made any sense at all.

The only thing that I know to be true is that I can't put my efforts into something that my heart's not in. I can't study simply on the basis that I need to score A's. A's don't mean anything to me emotionally. Therefore I can't struggle to achieve them.
The only sad part amongst everything that I've written down here is the fact that the people surrounding me in my life have expectations from me which are completely opposite to what I intend to do.

This cyclone that I have caught myself in will most certainly drag me to the bottom of the ocean where there lies disappointment, heart-break, disrespect & shame to name a few.

I hope a day shall come when I will swim to the surface with pride. I hope a day shall come when I will swim to the surface at all!

In the Name of Allah, the most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Say: I seek refuge with Lord of Mankind
the King of mankind
the God of mankind
from the evil of the whisperer, elusive tempter,
that whisper into the hearts of mankind
Among Jinn and among men.

The Silent Treatment...0_0

Salam
So lately, I decided not to attend my economics classes at school since we're way done with the syllabus. However, my mom somehow thinks that I'm being offensive towards my teacher while missing out on the classes.How am I supposed to convince her that there is absolutely NO need for me to waste my time sitting in class REVISING stuff when I can do the exact same thing at home in a lot more detail, a lot more effectively?? Now, as a punishment, she's not talking to me until I start going to class once again. She thinks I'm being 'disrespectful' towards my teacher -_-...pppffftttttttttt!!Sometimes, parents can be SO difficult! >_<

Hangin' in there

Salam

Here's a list of updates in my life:

• Sarah (my cousin) came from Qatar and she's living with us now; going to medical college as well
• My mom made a study schedule for me and Im not following it
• Im gonna bring myself a siamese cat today from my friend who offered to give it to me
• kulsoom came back from india..u obviously don't know her..sadly, i know i wont be able to meet her until..probably september or next eid -_-

That pretty much sums it up. Here's a little something I wrote yesterday, the inspiration coming from my wonderful life. See what you think:

I don’t know where I am

Who I am is a mystery

I wish I could break free of my chains

I’d do anything to get away for a while

May be I need to get away forever

This life is something I can’t stand

This routine that binds me to its obligations

Has responsibilities I do not wish to uphold

I close my eyes, it helps but not for long

I take a day off only to resume the life I paused

I’m living in the dream of the future I fantasize about

I fear it will never come true….

Tootaloo...tc, Allah Hafiz

It's Been a laaaaaaooooonggg time =]

Salam

hey..i almost forgot what it feels like to BLOG...and now that I'm back the words just aren't flowing...well, ill give you a brief description about my life at present: major exams are closing in meaning, the grades i get in them will pretty much determine my future career, but thats no big deal, right?

My mom is constantly after me to make myself a study schedule, which, deep down, i know is the best thing for me to do, but i refuse to do it ..probably because I have become extremely lazy when it comes to studies or maybe just cause I have an ego problem and I don't want to abide by my mommy's orders...

whatever the case may be, I'm not doing very well in my academics and for some reason, that doesn't really bother me...it's like I've been fretting over my academics for way too long and I can't waste another year of my life in stupid tensions that are bound to repeat them self EVERY DAMN YEAR..I know one can't exactly call that a 'wastage' of time but I just can't take it anymore... I'm NOT into cramming for exams or sticking to my books for hours and hours at end..frankly, I have better things to do.

=] well, I feel accomplished! I typed down a whole page & I only JUST started! =p

i suppose this is enough for one day

catch u later ;)

tc

Pakistan Zindabad! 14th of August (*

Salaam
waow
i had the greatest night on that date
i don't even have the words to explain it
anyways, ramadan is on a roll, and im fasting
the internet's back so, yipee for me! :)
i haaave to start studying SERIOUSLYYY ..anytime now...-_-!